I\u2019m doing it again \u2013 slowly, carefully cutting myself. I don\u2019t know why I do it. I don\u2019t like to. It hurts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n
What\u2019s wrong with me? I make half-hearted attempts to stop, always returning like some helpless addict. Here I go again. Cutting, cutting, making long scars on my arm. If I have to, I can roll down my sleeve, hide the wounds, pretend for a moment that everything\u2019s fine. I always wear long-sleeved shirts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
It\u2019s my dirty little secret, something sick and perverted that no one else does. I\u2019m weird. I\u2019m different. I can never tell anyone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Watching the blood drip from my arm soothes me. It was a good cut. It\u2019s not much blood. It never is. I know cutting won\u2019t kill me. It\u2019s just some crazy thing I do that I can\u2019t understand, can\u2019t stop. It won\u2019t kill me. I wish it would.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Little by little the cutting stops. I don\u2019t know why it started; I don\u2019t know why it stopped. It came and went, a malicious stranger passing through my life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
All these years later the scars remain, a story carved into my flesh.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
I\u2019m doing it again \u2013 slowly, carefully cutting myself. I don\u2019t know why I do it. I don\u2019t like to. It hurts.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[7],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-22","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-symptoms"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/dark-night.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/22","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/dark-night.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/dark-night.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dark-night.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dark-night.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=22"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/dark-night.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/22\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":123,"href":"https:\/\/dark-night.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/22\/revisions\/123"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/dark-night.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=22"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dark-night.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=22"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dark-night.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=22"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}